19/05/2014

Nosh Detox 3 Day Juice Cleanse

The other week I did a three day juice cleanse.

Yes, after spending an entire blog post bemoaning their expense, declaring it would be so, so easy to DIY and then ending my first day of my DIY Juice Cleanse with a KFC, I finally bit the bullet and did a real juice cleanse. Although, only because there was a deal going on. I still think they're ridiculously over-priced.

So, for less than half price, I took the plunge and ordered a Nosh Detox three day juice cleanse.


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A few days later, a huge box full of cute little bottles, scary sounding sachets and my instructions for the cleanse arrived. And it took up almost an entire shelf of my fridge.

I'll admit I was a little terrified about starting the cleanse. All this talk about 'colon cleanses,' allowing my body to 'eliminate what it needs to,' and the emotions I was to expect had me mentally preparing for something of the magnitude of a Saharan trek, an ultra-marathon or an evening spent with that girl from the Selfie song and her cohorts. 

But my fears were unfounded. It was so much easier than I expected.

Day 1.
Although by the evening I had turned into one hangry bitch, I spent the majority of the day feeling ridiculously full. I felt like I was constantly drinking something, mostly because I took my time with each juice, sipping them slowly because I expected I'd feel starving. This meant that each juice lasted what felt like forever, and although they're all nice tasting, they're not so nice that you want to be savouring them. I think this was the hardest day for me. My stomach felt a bit weird and I was so grumpy I took myself away to bed for about 9pm. One thing I did struggle with was not being able to have coffee. I hadn't realised I loved coffee so much until I couldn't have it. Countdown to the day after the cleanse and a return to Starbucks begins.

Day 2.
Decide to drink each juice as quickly as possible to avoid full-sluggish-weird feeling from day one. This works much better for me. I even start to feel a little self righteous in the office, watching everyone eat their lunches. The chap sitting next to me whips out a haggis roll and whilst I'd normally love a haggis roll, the smell and thought of it make me nauseous today. Kind of dreading my superfood sachet and getting sick of the lumpy colon cleanses (especially as they don't seem to work at all... ) as they're by far the worse part of the cleanse. They're pretty minor though - one cleanse sachet in the morning and one in the evening, and a superfood sachet at lunchtime, the rest is pretty tasty juices! Feel full and satisfied in the evening, and much less of a hangry bitch. It feels quite liberating not having to interrupt the flow of your evening with the chore of cooking and eating, so I have a salt bath, read some of my book and generally feel quite productive. Energy levels also freakishly high considering the amount of calories consumed.


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Gross spinachy tasting superfood sachet on the left, gross lumpy colon cleanse on the right.

Day 3.
Nosh have been emailing me throughout my cleanse, which has been lovely. In fact when I tweeted that I was scared to start my cleanse they replied to me saying not to worry, as they were always there for me and that I was to give them a call any time. 1 million customer service points to Nosh - I felt super supported the entire time, even if I didn't actually take up any of their offers of help. Anyway, on their day three email they tell me "Whatever you are going through, do not worry - it will pass." So I step off into day three feeling a little bit anxious about what's to come. I needn't have worried. Day three may have even been my easiest day, perhaps because I was so excited about the prospect of returning to solid foods the next day. Like the other days, I don't feel particularly hungry or like I'm lacking in something. However, looking into my fridge and seeing my last ever juice is a very nice feeling. I go to bed feeling full and satisfied, although I do dream about coffee and practically bound out of bed the next day and run for my Grande Skinny Caramel Macchiato with an Extra Shot please.


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So what did I think of the juice cleanse? Well, it was good. I quite enjoyed it. Most of all, I enjoyed a return to faith in my own willpower and my abilities to follow through with something that can be quite challenging. I enjoyed the freedom I found in not having to eat and the huge amount of time that leaves for you to use for other productive purposes. And of course I enjoyed the 6lbs I lost. In three days! That's 2lbs a day! Bikini body I can feel you coming closer!

There was however one major thing that I didn't enjoy. And I'm sorry in advance, because this is going to be way, way, way TMI for the usual standards of this blog.

Friends I'd spoken to before doing the juice cleanse had all pretty much said the same thing: "You are going to spend the entire three days on the toilet." I had expected as much too, especially with taking two 'colon cleanses' a day. But nope. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. So much so that by the third day I was feeling particularly uncomfortable and pretty damn peeved. Not feelings I had wanted especially having paid quite a bit of money to feel this way. (Because even half off I paid a pretty penny). But then Day 4 or Day 1 of normality rolled around, and, well... oh dear. I almost had to cancel my Friday night because of the amount of time I was spending in the loo. Awkward. I think even now, almost a fortnight later, my digestive system has yet to return to normal, which is pretty annoying.

But that's my only issue with this cleanse. Otherwise, it was surprisingly easy to do, satisfying, tasty and effective, and I felt incredibly supported by the lovely Nosh team the whole way through. If you don't have a sensitive or unpredictable stomach, I would definitely recommend it! I don't think I'll be doing another one though.

Well, maybe not for a while.


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